...is the slightly cheeky title the sub-editors chose for my review of a very bad book in today's Guardian. I can be as effusive as the next guy when a book is wonderful (see my review of the brilliant Nicola Barker, who I hope wins the Booker), but I get ticked off when a book is lazy. And wow, what a terrible book is Now Is The Hour.

Here, seriously, are its three opening lines:

Parmesan cheese.
My troubles all started with Parmesan cheese.
And they ended with Parmesan cheese.

You'd get angry, too, even if you were being paid to read it.