September 2007 Archives

Went to a great concert last night at the Shepherd's Bush Empire.  The great big 11-piece folk band Bellowhead, supported by the equally wonderful Jim Moray (in turn supported by Chris T-T, who sang a song about a hedgehog bleeding to death, seriously).  If you've turned up your nose because of the word "folk", then clearly you're not in with the in crowd.

The whole thing was being filmed for a concert DVD as well, so whenever it comes out, you can look for me dancing and hopping like a fool about five lines of people back from the stage.  I'm wearing a red stripey shirt, standing next to a complete tit avid fan in a purple wig.  Near me is my friend Jonathan, even taller than I am.  We probably won't be that hard to spot.  We're the ones blocking the entire view of the short girls behind us.  Don't pity them, they made animal noises all the way through the Jim Moray set.

Finally, ask yourself, if you haven't danced a reel or a jig this week, is your life really worth living?

...is the slightly cheeky title the sub-editors chose for my review of a very bad book in today's Guardian. I can be as effusive as the next guy when a book is wonderful (see my review of the brilliant Nicola Barker, who I hope wins the Booker), but I get ticked off when a book is lazy. And wow, what a terrible book is Now Is The Hour.

Here, seriously, are its three opening lines:

Parmesan cheese.
My troubles all started with Parmesan cheese.
And they ended with Parmesan cheese.

You'd get angry, too, even if you were being paid to read it.

Hello! That previous diary entry was just a placeholder, so this is actually me speaking now, welcoming you to my website (designed by the indefatigable Ben Freeman). Here you'll find info about me, my books, and my other writings in all their various sections, particularly in the lead-up to the publication of my next book, (which is all the way out in next May, so let's take it slow...)

I've already done my first event for it, sharing the bill with Harry Hill, Julian Clary and Pauline McLynn at a Borders Books managers meeting. They were probably all looking at me thinking, "This must be the guy they've brought on to introduce Will Self." I handed out an award to the Dublin branch and made my speech memorable by being so nervous I inadvertently swore.  Which is exactly the impression you want to make when you're introducing your first children's book.

So, either way, welcome. Let's see how we go.

Patrick